happy new whatever..i suppose

Happy new year and all that sort of stuff. Can’t see what all the fuss is about. The world is suppose end this year too-if you believe/understand what you read, I can safely predict that it will end on 12^th December 2012-well it has too with a date like 12/12/12 and  if doesn’t well then we’re safe for another 10 odd years when it will end on 22^nd February 2022.....maybe

A recent Dilbert cartoon I saw (which is probably 2 or 3 years old by now) summed up the whole new year thing for me in this line “I don’t celebrate the magical thinking that says one point in the space-time continuum is somehow special”

And the whole new year’s resolutions baffles me too-why change/stop habits that have been bringing you pleasure for who knows how many years just because it’s January 1^st?

Any way new years resolutions never seem to last more than a couple of months any way. And besides Des McDonald said “every day is a fresh start. No matter what happened the day before ,approach today with a clean slate”

Now this brings me on to Lent. Lent is a catholic thing( although I do know one non catholic who does it). Lent is good way of giving the failed resolutions another go. Despite being agnostic, I take lent very seriously (kind of) I can go off something and stick to it for the 6 weeks. Once I went off sweets and managed to stay off them for 4 years. One year I gave up meat-but in the 2^nd week I was having nightmares. I remember one in which a very sexy French actress came up to me with a plate that had a juicy steak on it-she told me I had the choice of the steak or her-yep I choose the steak. Never realized how much I liked my meat. A very catholic woman I work suggested that instead of giving something up I should go to mass every morning during the 6 week period-yeah,no fun in that.And i got i very stern glare when i asked her if there was any totty out at mass at that time.

Fifteen and twenty five years ago I took out 2 savings plans the 15 year one matures at end of this month and the 25 year one matures in June. The 25 year one I must be sensible with. But the 15 year one I am going to use most of it to spoil myself-to maybe a big holiday abroad. But knowing me it’ll just be the usual cycling holiday(s) in Ireland-and be sensible with more than I intended. Suggestions most welcome. I have thought of a cruise-but I would spend most of time criticizing the entertainment and rip off excursions-to be honest I would be in my element there

So here’s my new year’s resolutions-most of which I’ll not keep

1 Stop lending money to family members (no chance of keeping this one)

2 Stop lending books that I want back (pretty good chance here)

3 Treat myself to a big holiday-a change from ICS (very slim chance)-ideas welcome

4 Learn how to use photoshop properly (no chance –been saying this since elements 7)

5 relearn the computer stuff I learnt on that course I did 2 years ago (ha ha)

6 find my smile again(no chance tried this last year-did not last long)

7 go through all the free cds and record all the good stuff and dump rest(too much like hard work)

8 try to be good at my job (now THAT I am going to make an effort at)

9 Spoil my self more(will no doubt find reasons not to)

10  Swear blind I never made this list (most definitely)

11 try to inject more humour in these blogs

Incidentally Des McDonald is a chef-just thought what he said made a bit of sense 

suggestions for the big holiday still most welcome

remember this?

I had a kind of serious blog on a while ago about the bumps on my arms,between 2 toes. And being told if removed I would have a permanent numbness "but i would get used to it" -well that was back in October. I now have a date for the procedure-Jan 5th at 17:30. I have now until Thursday when I am back at work to decide what I am going to do. Part of me does not want to get this thing done as 1. It's not doing me any harm.It's more other people are more aware of it than I am.And it's not really causing me any harm(I think) or pain-except the very odd time something might whack it in a certain way. 2 I'm a little bit worried about the numbness bit-as I am the sort of person who would make sure that I don't get used to it.
I don't know if they will get any bigger or not AND if I decide to get them removed if they will grow again or not.
I could just turn up and ask the doctor (who has a name that looks like letters in a game of Countdown ) about the after effects and if they will grow again,if I don't get them removed if they'll get any bigger-or any other dangers. After all i've been aware of at least one of these things since i was 12 or 13.
All of the people I have spoke to have said to get them removed-but then they find the sight of them a little off putting.A friend said that he does not really notice it anymore. So part of me is thinking this is more cosmetic than anything. If removing them left  scars -i could dream up some good stories on how i got them.
I am thinking of discussing this with a sister -who is a nurse,be it psychiatric, about the dilemma to see what she thinks.
At the end of the day it is my choice-but as they're not doing me any harm I don't know why I am going through with this.Admittedly I was aware of just how big one of them was in a photo this year.
 But.......

Christmas? Who needs it anyway?

Some folk are under the impression I hate Christmas in an Ebenezer Scrooge way (he was too soft if you ask me). I don’t hate Christmas; I actually like it-the whole family thing-the getting together and chilling out.

What I hate is the ritual- decorations-the labour of putting them up and within 10 minutes you don’t notice them.At work someone is bound to insist on getting new ones which are only fawned over when they come out of the box-after that ask the person where the new ones are amongst the rest and they won’t know.

My supposed hatred of Christmas is a running joke at work, but with my dry sense of humour one person this year did not catch one and when I threatened to remove the head of a hideous monkey that sung jingle bells when a button was pressed-she called me a miserable so and so and to let everyone else enjoy the season. About ten minutes later she actually apologized to me saying she was having a bad day-I of course told it was just an act and I expected responses like that. The office got revenge and made me give out the secret Santa presents this year-with my droll delivery and copying an eviction on the tv show “I’m a celebrity get me out of here” it went down very well and everyone commented on how funny it was-and they want me to do it next year(drat foiled again)

Any way what I hate most is the presents thing. Now once you stop believing in Santa the toys stop and the nothing but clothes start. I believe that Christmas and birthdays are a time when you should get something you want as opposed to some thing you need (or don’t need sometimes).I remember an aunt from England always sent us a parcel of presents at Christmas-toys. When I was ten everyone got cool toys-I got a horrid tie. Everyone else laughed and I realized-this is it, no more toys, it’s clothes from now on. Funny thing is, during my punk years, I thought the tie was so bad it was perfect-alas I no longer had it. I’m a big kid when buying presents and wait eagerly as they open the present only to see the forced smile with “oh that’s lovely” and then it's  buried in a drawer never to be seen again. Now perfumes-I haven’t a clue, they all smell the same to me. You could give me a bottle of used bath water, put in a dash of toilet cleaner and tell me it’s an exclusive expensive perfume and I would believe you, and pay big money. Aftershave is the same, I never wear the stuff. I have a battered pullover that is 2 sizes too big for me-looks pretty horrible too, that I only wear in the winter around the house over a t-shirt or on the way into work when it is bitterly cold-NEVER worn at work. It is only washed once a year, in  March –when it gets warmer. There are toothpaste stains on here from October –when I started wearing it this year. My mother hates this pullover and just does not get why I like it so much. There are new ones I got 2 or 3 Christmases ago that are still in drawer that were only worn once on the boxing day( or st stephen’s day) and they are not too big-drat.

I hate the whole shopping thing-the crowds, I love the open spaces-not a queue a mile long and 6 people wide. There is always someone 2 or 3 in front of me who forgets something and they send a precocious offspring back to get it and wait 10 minutes at counter for it to return. As I’m on my own I have to go to the back of queue again, if I forget something. Maybe I could make a few pounds by hiring myself as a “go back and getter.”

People say getting tokens/vouchers is cheating and thoughtless. Me? this is the ideal present I would be more than happy with tokens for HMVor my local book shop- I could go and get dvds of Northern Exposure or Seinfeld or …well anything. I actually just give vouchers now-as this saves any embarrassment

I told my mother this year not to get me anything as I don’t need nor want anything

“You too late “ she said “I got you something”………a jumper- that one’s done” and the worst thing is it will more than likely be the right size.I'll more than likely wear her jumper once or twice then it's back to old faithful -and after a while the pile of "new" jumpers will be off to the charity shop.

Merry bloomin’ Christmas folks-hope you get at least one toy-cos that’s what it’s all about.

yak yak yak

was on an item seeking mission to Belfast a couple of weeks ago. A mission to find a replacement strap for my trusty rucksack.The first shop I went to was a lovely little shop that was well hidden,off the beaten track and all that. I told the sales person what I was looking for and even had the aforesaid rucksack with me. The guy shook his head and said

“Nobody buys replacements anymore-everything is so affordable theses days,people just get a new one.” Hmmp-true a new rucksack won’t break me,but why should I spend my cash on something I don’t really need? This is why there is so much landfill out there. True, I can be wasteful sometimes-for example when I go on holidays I have a use it and lose it system with undies,socks and one T-shirt. Because it’s too much like hard work separating stuff in my ever so light carrier bag (the t-shirt I wear in bed all week).

Now I DID get a replacement strap in the end-it’s not perfect,but it’ll do until I save up some cash for a new rucksack-and then the old one is off to the charity shop-unless I can get a seamstress to do a more lasting job on it. Also discovered that my boots do not have much life left –but then when that time comes I will NEED to change them

And another thing, I HATE getting my photo taken-that whole “smile to order thing”-I just can’t do it.People as me why I look so miserable in photos and I tell them I AM smiling. Allow me to something daft and that’s ok –but that sensible pose with a photo smile-nope just can’t do it. Now I love looking at photos of people-but myself-ugh! I am famous for avoiding being in photographs and some people thing they have achieved a lifelong goal if they get a photo of me.

There is a photo of me and a woman I met on holiday once (the famous Connie) Now I was totally infatuated with her,and we got on great-on a couple of days she asked me to break away from the group and just cycle with her. She left the holiday early-2 days before end as she wanted to go to see her family-as she was over from America.On her last night she asked me to go off for a quiet drink or two before we met up with rest of group for dinner. We had  a great chat and she told me her current relationship problems-and later by email she sent me an email thanking for me for being such a good listener-and that I was the first person she told about the beak up.The next morning at breakfast another woman in group (who did not know that Connie left early) asked me to cycle with her instead of Connie that morning. ANY WAY I digress. On her last night I had a photo taken of the two of us together and you can see for yourself I could not even get a proper smile here.

Don’t know how this copies over-but see what I mean-if she had asked me to pack in holiday and head off to Cavan to see the family –I would have gone, ok I was curious to see if she had any sisters (well New York is too far away).  But as I said,someone gets out a camera and I either sneak away or hide behind someone taller/broader than me.
Incidentally I lost contact with Connie-but via the power of facebook and google i tracked her down-I sent her a couple of messages but got no reply-so for all you romantics there's no happy ending here....sorry

crabbit? moi??

I’m not one to complain. But……wait a minute I AM , after all I  am a full time

cynic. W C Fields said “Start the day with a smile, and get it over with.” Well even though I did not get out on bike today I heard some good radio,saw a couple of episodes of Northern Exposure and chilled out.

Right down to business. It’s ever changing technology again. I remember many years ago a new thing came out- 8 track tapes. Now this,back then was the dog’s dodas as far as technology went.These were installed in cars and we had music on the move.These things were big and chunky and the album was cut into 4 bits,so you could jump from one part of album to another-not from song to song mind you-but we thought they were great. In no time at all something new arrived-the cassette tape-much more compact AND you could record on to them.So now the only time you you see an 8 track was in a tractor. Ever since then I have labled any new tech that I think has a short life span as “the new 8 track” Mini Discs –once again these were great,but with the onset of the whole digital downloading songs onto a computer I knew we had a new 8 track called mini disc

I was in Belfast and was in a hi-fi shop. I was looking for a DAB/FM radio for my stereo deck. After all DAB is the way forward-or so I thought. “OH you don’t want DAB “ the guy told me- “Internet Radio-that’s what you want now” Soooo it looketh like DAB radio is now an 8 track. I actually heard an add for internet radio on my favourite radio station(not on DAB yet) claiming you can listen to radio stations all over the world-why? I have 2 favourite radio stations that are not yet on DAB and the bloke in shop said that FM will be around for a very long time yet. I can’t see the point in wanting to listen to a radio station on the other side of the world-unless I had to move there and wanted to hear my favourite stations back home. And (and ONLY this) I could pick up a station that had a Chris in the morning-like in Northern Exposure.

                                                                                                         

Photography-there is now a super dooper new super compact camera out that is, supposedly, as good as the SLR (forgot the name for it). They have interchanable lens-but what do I want THAT for –as my compact is shoved in back of cycling jersey when out on mtb or pocket when out somewhere at night-if you saw it you would know what I get up to.In saying that the whole digital thing has made me lose interest in photography. True you can take hundreds of pictures on a memory card-but it takes a lot of time editing them before getting them printed. I really do miss the little roll with 36 pictures that you took to a store to get developed. I’ve noticed with a lot of people the photos are put onto a hard drive and there they stay for ever. Also in the camera mags it’s all about editing in the ubiquitous all powerful photoshop that seems to get updated periodically.So you need the latest edition to do something you don't actually need-but some people will think looks really good.

Maybe I should just sit down and work on pictures I think are worth developing and get them printed,and stop putting it off-and only use the tips I actually need-or just fiddle about until it looks good.

And anyway the sound on those 8 tracks was pretty good too-and don’t get me started on television. But in saying that dvd is much better than video  and I hope this 3d thing is a non starter-please…

 So if any body knows of a radio station with a Chris in the morning-let me know.
Mug of tae anyone?

no idea why i'm doing this

No idea why or how this one’s going to go-bit seriousish bit silly.

I have had this thing since I was about 12 or 13 years old. Apparently it is hereditary

but I don’t know anyone else in my family who has it. It is called  Neurofibromatosis.The one on my left arm has grown a bit over the years.The one on my right arm has just  been there about 15 years. I also have a little one between my big toe and one beside it on my right foot.The photo here was taken on holiday this year and I have only realised how big the bump is(I don’t appear in many photos).

I have spoken to a doctor about this and he told me it would be a deep cut and would mean going into a nerve and I would have a permanent numbness in that area-no feeling. But I would still have 100% usage of hand. I asked him if I would be able to play the piano-he said yes and I said “That’s good because I can’t play it now.”  He gave me a blank look-bloomin’ foreigner did not get it. ANY WAY I was thinking about this and thought will it grow again? And if the one on my foot is removed it could upset my sense of balance and I might have to relearn riding a bike again. And any way if it leaves a scar-I could have great fun making up stories where it came from.

Picture below-the one on salute arm is just about visible-the other arm…bigger

I had decided not to go ahead with this.I recently had to see an eye specialist about something and the nurse who was getting me ready was remarking how thin my medical file was. I mentioned the arm/foot things and said to cancel the appointment. She said that I don’t know if they are going to get any bigger/worse and encouraged me to go ahead with the appointment and decide then-I am taking her advice-and I think I have discovered a new bump in a rather embarrassing place.

The eye specialist told me that I have glaucoma and has prescribed some eyedrops I will be taking for life (so mammy was right-it actually WAS bad for my eyesight).This is an age thing-so I don’t mind.

For some inexplicable reason I was thinking on things I missed.When I meet some of my old workmates they ask me what do I miss most-they think I’ll mention someone’s name-but the first thing I say is the free car park.Then my little seat that looked into the post room where there was a lot of eye candy,then a certain delicacy off the tea trolley and only then do I say the name they expect. But this got me thinking about something I miss much more, something I have never had a chance to experience in a very long time…tea and lunch in a canteen.Now they are taken at the  work desk and it ain’t as good anymore-the whole social aspect has vanished, the whole conversation thing has gone cos the person beside you is usually working and sometimes you can’t talk cos somebody else is on the phone.The only ones who seem to get away from the desk are the smokers. I even miss the queuing up for a terrible cup of tea or coffee.For some reason where I am nobody seems to want to go to the kitchen area cos they’re busy on the internet.

Any way I am waiting for the appointment for the removing of my bumps-it’s not an overnight thing-but if I can pluck up the courage to mention the awkward one-this could be the thing I need to boost my confidence-I think

Reasons to be cheerful-again

                                                               

When you’re done in the dumps the worst thing you can hear is some idiot saying something like “Cheer up, it’ll never happen “ or “things could be worse.”    I have a very dry sense of humour and rarely smile-so I’m not always as miserable as I look.

I have actually noticed how miserable I DO actually look and am doing my best to improve my facial expression. Another term I don’t really like is people saying (to anybody actually) is “Cheer up-you’ve got your health,a job, a roof over your head etc etc.” yeah yeah it is good to have these things. But any way George Bernard Shaw said “A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it-it would be Hell on Earth”

When I feel down I count my blessings and they change everyday as most of mine are those little things that make you feel good.For example one night I was driving home and was feeling pretty crap when the radio station I had on played 3 of my favourite records in a row-made me feel much better –when I got home I actually phoned the station and thanked the jock. So here  are some things that make me feel good and realise that life in general is not that bad-some bits COULD be better but we’ll get to that later.

1. Free State Tayto cheese ‘n onion/King cheese n onion crisps   -an Irish thing

2. The countryside

3. Bicycles

4  Rucksacks

5 Irish Radio

6 Women who dress well

7 The Scottish female voice

8 Women

9 The dvd-so much entertainment whenever I want

10 Sharon Ni Bhealin-she reads the news on Irish television-it may be bad,but I’d rather hear it from her. Oh and RTE’s weather girls

11 Irish Cycling Safaris-I have met some great, interesting and weird people on these holidays

12 Ireland is still probably a better place to live than Afghanistan –or Nottingham come to think of it. 

13 The spellchecker on the computer-you don’t know how many times I have had to correct this.

14     I have said this a few times before but,my guardian angel. I may somewhat agnostic but someone is most definitely looking after me-from birth. I had a very              

difficult breach birth and also I can remember a few other incidents that was lucky to survive at all.

15 Those bloomin vuvuzelas we heard in last world cup never took off.

16 Puncture proof bicycle tyres

17 When someone compliments me on a quick fire one liner I say.

18 Women

19 the beeping noise the car makes when you open a door with the lights on.

And the one that I say to myself every morning I get up and before I go to sleep at night “I can ride a bike,I can read a book and I can pee standing up.”