sorry folks VERY serious one-will be deleted pretty quickly-suggestions helpful

Let’s  see, now where do I start this? Right, I remember when I was 12 or 13 I was getting some jag (shot, injection-call it what you want). Oh just remembered there may be some rough words in this-depends how angry/mixed up I am when I type certain parts, to emphasise I will put what was going on in my in red in brackets ( like this ok?) ok? it’ll make a point. I digress-back to the story. The shot was a stamp circle thing that rose after a while if you were ok. When the doctor jabbed me hr noticed a little lump on my arm-“hmm “ he said and circled it with a ball-point and said –“Don’t be washing that off.” I thought nothing of it. Over the years this little lump grew, but I never thought of seeing a doctor about it. But I was pretty aware of it. It was only when I was in my mid to late 20s did I think about doing something. I was sent to a dermatologist. He looked at and told me I had a something called neurofibromatosis and it was hereditary. When asking back home I discovered that nobody else had this-nor did any of my 2 sisters and 4 brothers. He also told me that if I were to have children the chances of me passing this on was 2:1. By now I had at 2 more of these lumps –one on my other arm (not as big or visible as the first one) and one between 2 toes on my right foot. I call this my sixth toe (incidentally only one person other than the doctor has seen this…Carolyn, who I met on the cycling/irish language holiday). I was told that if I got the big one removed it would leave a scar and may grow again. I have been with the dermatologist twice since then- on the 3^rd visit I was told by a new dr. the surgery would be pretty complex and my arm would be permanently numb but “I would get used to it.” ( now, I take the verb contrary to new levels-believe you me, I would go out of my way to make sure I would not get used to it.) So I thought I’ll just live with it.

Fast forward to pretty recently. Some family members have pointed to my main lump and have asked me “Is that thing getting bigger?” I would say no-but on looking at it I wondered if they were right. I have also noticed what I think is another one starting. This was becoming an obsession with me and I have started seeing what I fear is other ones starting. Now I have seen a couple of TV shows with people who have this thing much, much worse than me. If I had children and passed this thing on to anybody I would never forgive or be able to live with myself-so I just avoid that possibility.

     My brother has a wee girl who is just passed her 2^nd birthday and she is starting to say words I recognise. One day she grabbed my arm, pointed at my bump and said “What’s that?” the first time I understand what she is saying is that. So that got me thinking, maybe I SHOULD do something.

So, appointment is made with a new dermatologist. My appointment was for 18:15 but I was not seen until 19:40. He was reading my medical notes –and then prodded my big bump with the nib of his pen –there is now blue pen marks on my bump. Then he grabbed it tight with his finger and thumb and pulled it back and forward ( holy mother of God he is going to burst this fecking thing) “That hurts “ I said. Then HE said “You do not have neurofibromatosis, that is just a blocked up sweat gland.” 

“What?”  “You do not have neurofibromatosis, that is just a blocked up sweat gland.” 

“But TWO other dermatologists have told me that is neurofibromatosis . That has been hanging round my neck for the past 30 odd years, and now you are telling me this?” He then said “Yes, I will book you in to get it removed.”  “But what risks are involved?” I said “What about the numbing?” He said “No numbing-very simple procedure, cut it out, over in 15 minute.” Pause “Then we will know what it is” (I am wondering what the feck is going here? I want to ask him if he is a real doctor or if he is in a hurry to get home.).  “But you just TOLD me what it was” “We will knw when we take it out” (but the other bloody doctors KNEW almost immediately what it friggin’ was-are you even a dermatologist? Have been given the wrong specialist?) I was in a kind of state of bewilderment “But TWO other doctors have told me this IS neuro… and now you’re saying you don’t know?” My bump was still a bit sore from his grab. He said that the appointment would be in a few days time. At times I felt like I was in one of those shows like the office and I was looking for a camera to look into and give a puzzled look.

So now I am pondering on two/three things- do I call my own doctor and ask for a second opinion (saying why of course)? Do I go to the surgeon and ask him/her about the risks involved, and the risks seem too much, I’ll say “I’ve changed my mind.” (knowing MY luck the specialist will actually be him and he’ll be standing there with a stanely knife,a bottle of tcp and a band-aid).

But seriously you do not know the weight this thing has been on my mind all these years. I thought I had one on my throat, I got it removed-turned out it was something else-maybe these things are something else too. But if one of these things DID manage to grow somewhere I could not hide it-I fear what I would do.But again, if I find out he’s right and it IS just a blocked up sweatgland….I need to make up for lost time.

I could show you a photo of it-but sometimes I find it very scary myself.

Sorry folks that was a VERY serious one-REALLY  needed to get that out of my system

To end on a brighter note –we had a boring serious course at work. There was 3 or 4 one liners that I just could not resist. At then of it a few people came over to me laughing saying “Crumbs, you were on form today all right” and told the others in the office what I said. Nice to see I’m good at something.

Are You Insane?

The good, the bad and the whatever you make it. This is another of them ones were you decide what goes where.

         I’m not in a particularly good place at the moment folks. I know things could be a heck of a lot worse, and I’m sure a literally countless number of people would kick me in the nadgers and ask to swap places with me. And I KNOW talking’s good and all that, but when I have talked in the past, things usually got worst, or nothing happened.  

Two people I know who are very good friends appear to have had a very bad falling out, which is a shame. I am jealous of these two and wish I had a good friendship like these two have. Too be honest, with the small circle of friends that I have I could not trust any of them to discuss a problem with. Life is far too fucking short for grudges. I had a big falling out with a very good friend (I blame his wife and Amway actually)-there’s a long story about this one. We did make up after a while-but things are not quite the same (this happened almost 20 years ago) THEN about 9 or 10 years a go he packed his bags and moved to Scotland and he told EVERYBODY except me-I only heard through a 3^rd party about 2 weeks before he moved.I DID hold a grudge about this, but after a week of his leaving I sent him a letter (a hand written one) wishing him all the best and thanking him for introducing and nurturing my love for cycling and the outdoors. Since then I (and someone else) go over there once a year for a weekend cycling. Last year on one of those trips when the 2 of us were alone he apologized for not telling me about his move to Scotland. I told him there was no need as I had forgotten all about that. Mind you, I STILL tone things done when she is about.So you two-sort this out, so I can keep on being jealous of yous.

I am smitten by the woman who runs my favourite bookshop in Derry. Now I have great chats with her when I go in there. She is a poet and I bought a copy of her great little book. She gave me a free copy a cd with her on it too. She has a little typewriter museum in her  shop. The last time I was in she lent me a copy of her own favourite poetry book (with some cds) –and said that she trusted me to take care of it. When she gave it to me, she fondly wiped it clean with a cloth. And I thought “wow-she really treasures this.” I told her of a CD that I have – “Up A Tree”- Looper, which has an incredible piece on it, that is almost a poem called “Impossible Things #2” that has the sound of a typewriter going through it, and that I was thinking about it on the way over-and that I’ll lend her my copy when she is open again on Wednesday. When I came out with one of my one-liners she remarked to as customer she likes my sense of humour. Now I can guess what some of you are saying, and I am going to quote Xander-or was it Chandler (never saw the answers) “Tell her I like her? Are you insane?” and “I don’t handle rejection well, funny considering all the practice I’ve had.” And there is a 13-14 year age gap, she smokes -but that gap is the main worry.

Any ways, like I said before a very good friend that you can talk too/listen too is a Godsend and for those of you who have friends like that I am so, so  jealous of yous –put any troubles you have behind you,sort things out-and if yous can’t you have my condolences. And if I have angered/annoyed anyone here I am sorry.

Saving up for a new camera, my niece/god daughter is trying to get me to buy one that is almost £2000 –the one I want is just over £800. I can see one of her reasons for getting the expensive one, but I can see her sweet talking her uncle gerdy into lending her his new expensive camera. I hate to admit it, with a bit of a push I could save for that one by Christmas-but to be honest the difference could almost pay for another trip to the states or even  Galway.

OK? Now I’m off to drown my sorrows in a Hank Williams song or two.

And here’s “Impossible Things #2” I think this is £$%%$!! Amazing. If yous don’t like I don’t care-if she does not like it, I don’t know what I saw in her anyway. Ignore the dreadful video this has nowt to do with the group-just listen to it.

An Update

The Bad

OK have to be honest here-I am in a really low form. Tomorrow 5^th September 2015 AD I was to be heading off to Galway (I love this city-a real feel good thing about it) for an early start to my 2015 ICS holiday. Then on the Saturday I was getting the bus to Killarney to do one of my top 3 ICS trips-the ring of kerry/dingle. I had promised myself a trip over to the majestic Blasket Islands this time AND I discovered that one of my rock idols from the 80s was playing there on the Saturday night (Lloyd Cole –Lloyd Cole and the Commotions). This route is particularly hilly, and as 4 or 5 of you know-I love the hills. I was getting in some extra training to get my climbing legs into order (to impress cute American birds as I dart up them big hills in the hardest gear, and of course being Irish I HAD to be at the top before any English cyclists). And after the week was over I was back to Galway for another two nights.

THEN about a week later I was over to another favourite part of my lovely country-Donegal for a photography weekend. I done my homework for this one and discovered that I WILL learn new stuff and maybe also get a question that is bugging me –“Is a full frame sensor worth the extra money, or will the new 70d do just as well, much cheaper and maybe enough left over for a new lens?” I know and love the locations on this trip and maybe this will encourage me to get up early/ make an effort to travel to get photos at the magic hours.

BUT I was feeling so bad about a few things I decided to cancel both trips. On the cycling holiday I lost 50% of the cost-if I had left this 2 days later I would have lost 100% . The photography weekend I have lost 100%-as my dropping out dropped the figures below the minimum the whole weekend had to be cancelled. One person got a refund and the other go moved on to another one in Wicklow next month. I was told that if I want I can do the Wicklow one instead-I am thinking about this. If I can fir in a Dublin stay at start/end of this one I may do the swap. I heard that Echo and the Bunnymen are in Dublin next month, now if there are still tickets and it is on at the right time-that will make up big time for the other disaster

Still not on great form-but doing my best not to let it control me.

The Good

Instead of Galway-tomorrow I am off to Glen Colmcille with my little Rambling Group-well to be honest 2 other members of the group. But my 2 favourite-the craic will be mighty. I have been over here a few times, so I’ll be able to show them some extra bits and the possibility of a majestic new walk to be done later. Unfortunately (Marni). The great little restaurant beside the Odias Gael is shut “for the season.”And with the 2 other people on this trip we will get great mileage out of the ice-cream/toilet joke –you’ll have to ask me privately to explain that one , seriously –this one is very funny.

I’m thinking of restarting the Irish Language classes-and this time I will make a bigger effort to attend the classes.

The good?????? For some reason I cannot get the movie “Streets of Fire” out of head-especially that final song. Thirty years later I STILL think Diane Lane (crumbs she’s superman’s mum) is wearing that frock back to front. This film is so tacky and cliché packed it is great-I have found and ordered a cheap copy of it on dvd. And I would love to make an exit like Michael Paré does (and that blonde in the car would be an added bonus).Ry Cooder had a hand in the soundtrack-and there are some pretty good songs in it-oddly enough from what I remember the bad guys had the best songs.Now am I the only person who remembers this movie

now here's an idea

I have noticed a plethora of tattoo shops popping up all over the place. Now I am not a big fan of them-I mean, they’re not just an overnight/weekend party thing. They are for life-BUT I have noticed some tattoo parlours have an additional sign about “removal.” Even radio stations are now having competitions in which the prize is a tattoo by “the world’s top tattooist.” His name is Ami James. And it was done live on air-huh? I have done a search on him –and his art is quite impressive. But a drawing on my body for the rest of my life? I’m not sure.And another thing, who tattoos the top tattooist?

 So here is the typical Gerdy question. Imagine somebody puts a gun to your head and tells you that if you do not get a tattoo you will be killed. You can choose the tattoo, it can be anywhere on your body,but sometimes it must be visible to the world. So obviously it will not be on the “naughty parts” of your body. Now what tattoo would you choose? I am curious so I would love to see some responses-somewhere, email me if you don’t want to put a comment-or even a comment on the facebook page. Now what tattoo would I get? See if you can guess-I’ll tell you later.

On this years ICS holiday I have discovered that in the town we start in-Kilarney, on the first night a favourite singer of mine, from the 80s is playing there.Now I REALLY like this guy back then-Lloyd Cole and The Commotions , was the band. Now I have done quite a few of the cycling holidays so I know the set up. The gig starts at 9 pm and is a bout a 30 minute walk from the b&b. I am wondering –would it be bad manners to do a disappearing act on that night? Now I know some people did something similar before-but the big worry is coming in late and disturbing my room mate on the first night. Wadda ya think?

Saw an article on a kind of holiday I would love-a digital detox. I think I would love a break from the whole internet, mobile phone,television things. My lap top went in for a clean out/service last week and the 5 days without it was great got in some reading and listening to music-bliss. So going to investigate these things, ironically on their web sites.

Currently reading “Tuesdays With Morrie.” Not a bad little book, bit twee, but still not bad.  I think the underlying message is not waiting until somebody is dieing before you catch up with seeing them after a long gap. So I have tried contacting a few friends I have not heard from in a while-no response. Well at least I tried. Another book I read recently was “A Day Called Hope. It was about how a (over here) pretty well known radio presenter battled with depression, gives guidance on trying to beat it. I’m trying to put his advice into practice-but it’s the whole talking bit that I can’t do. Sometimes I feel that I’m not really depressed and won’t bother anyone with my problems. I ordered this book along with “Tuesdays” at the back of this book the author mentioned books that inspired him over the years-coincidentally the first book in his list was “Tuesdays”

A new book I ordered arrived at the lovely little 2^nd hand/new book shop I frequent . Even for a chat with the delightful woman who owns it,“other peoples countries” and also got a poetry/prose book written by the shop’s owner. I’ll mention them next time.Want to get to one of her gigs too-the whole reading thing and all that.

thinking of doing a new blog about the rambles-" the crabbit man rambles" would be a good title. I could even slip in the odd cycle and photos.Like this

Right flashback time-the life or death tattoo. I think only two or three  of you will get this, and may even change their minds and copy me. I would get a bicycle chain mark on the bit of my leg the chain rubs against sometimes when I stop the bike. I would even have a mark there when getting the tattoo done and tell the tattooist just to ink over it. Now imagine the fun/confusion coming out of the shower-“you’ve missed a bit”   - “no I haven’t”

More later

this blog has no title just words and a comma

Bad

Strictly speaking, it’s not really THAT bad, but-I signed up for a photography weekend in the lovely little village of Glen Colmcille in Donegal. The blurb on the website gave me the impression I would learn some new tricks, and I quote “ explore the cultural & natural environment of Glen Colmcille, armed with your digital camera and directed by an expert photographer and teacher. Use your own or our computers to learn photo enhancement skills.” The other blurb-that I have either misplaced or have binned (in the recycle bin of course)  gave me the same idea. So I was thinking –great I might learn how to use my Lightroom programme properly-or let me know I am actually using it right. And also (sorry any teachers, I know that’s a bad way to begin a sentence-but see if I care anyway ) indulge in the craic with other people from the other course in the pub.” So I’m driving down on the Friday afternoon for the signing on and introduction session-and then the pub and craic.

On the way down I noticed some strange noises coming from the car.

When I got there I discovered I was first there-and there was only five in the group. I was also told that the rest, including the ones in the bodhran class were coming later that night. Now the glen is a tiny little village-so I had no shopping mall to wander around, AND this was a bank holiday weekend there, and with so much going on in other towns, this place was barely awake. The Friday night proved to be very long-I had nothing to read and I came out without my ipod (I don’t like drinking alone).

So Saturday finally arrives-turns out the women in the bodhran class are very easy on the eye-and they’re in same b&b as me! The class starts-2 people did not turn up. Turned out –they won the weekend as a prize in a local radio station and just could not be bothered. The guy taking the course introduced himself, and asked us what we hoped to get from the weekend-I said that I was hoping to get off using the semi-automatic bit on camera and learn to use manual more-he said that he never used manual and just used the semi-automatic. THEN I said that I was wanting to learn how to use Lightroom better, he said “Lightroom? What’s Lightroom?” I explained that it was taking over from photoshop elements and been going for a few years. THEN he said that he did not use photoshop and he just used a free download-picassa. So it looks like I know more than him. It was just far too basic for me-but I always say that there is nothing wrong with getting back to basics. I got a couple of nice photos when we were out taking pictures.

Saturday night the pub was very quiet-there was too much going on in various other nearby towns-what with the bank-holiday weekend.And  the tutor and me were the only 2 from both classes there. I was concerned about the car so just could not unwind.But there was an American in the pub was doing a song on his acoustic guitar-I recognised it, but just could not place it-when he came to a bit I recognised, turned out it was “Sign Your Name”-Terence Trent Derby-and it sounded great too.

Turned out the noise in the car was my brakes were “worn to the metal” I used this as an excuse to leave early on the Sunday , as I did not fancy facing their bank holiday traffic on Monday , and also gave me time to get car sorted. To be honest, if the brakes were ok, I would have stayed on the whole Sunday.

I have signed up for another weekend course, based in the Downings-Donegal again. I have done more homework here, and I will learn something new here-in fact I may be out of my depth with this group, with a bit of luck. Also I am holding off on buying a new camera, maybe this’ll convince me that there is nothing wrong with the current one, and I’ll be better off investing in a new lens instead.

This one is not until September- which is proving to be a busy month-the ICS holiday and a sister’s wedding.

The Whatever

Things in general not great-I know all I need to do is talk to someone. But getting me to do that is near impossible. I need to be pretty drunk before I open up,drop my defensive's and all that. Life would be a heck of a lot better if I actually talked to someone. Last time I did this was about 15 years ago with Barmy Brenda-a woman I used to work with-told yous about her before-a bloomin psycho she was-probably still is-but she turned what could have been a very miserable Christmas into a great one-she even encouraged me to put in for a transfer at work-and THAT was a very good move.Because the office I worked in is closing and everybody there is panicking about their future. She lives in the city I now work-and in those 15 years there I have never bumped into her-which to be honest might not be a bad thing-she had the most gorgeous brown eyes I have ever seen, but still a nutcase.

Heading over to Scotland for a day’s cycling at end of August-going over with my “unofficial twin brother” to meet up with the friend who got me into the cycling thing. He is always complaining about people not keeping in touch-thing is I regularly email him, even phone him-but he NEVER phones/emails here. He doesn’t seem to realise it works both ways. Looking forward to this Scottish trip it is over to a lovely little harbour village called The Isle of Whithorn. This is a kind of annual trip. When we arrive at base we park our bikes and get a pint of cider and go over to the harbour wall and take in the view.

oh- the barmy one drunk me under the table-and every drink she had was different. She got me very drunk indeed. One night when i was still quite sober I realised that some of the things she said were quite scary-so i took some peoples advice and stopped playing with her.
Oh! was at the hospital getting my glaucoma check up-one of the male nurses asked me, what was the name of the doctor who was dealing with me. I said that I was not told his name. Then he said "Was he a big guy?" I said "Well, he was bigger than me-but that's not saying much." I got a very bemused look, and he said in a very dry way "Did he have a southern accent?" hmp well I thought it was funny.

Well that’s it –more blathering later-still too lazy to check this over-any teachers reading this are probably pulling their hair out in frustration.

i might regret this one-but who reads these any way?

Down

There’s a saying that really gets on my goat, one that I hear a lot-and surprisingly a lot, and I mean A LOT of people believe in this and quote it regularly, what is it? I hear one or two of you mumble…well, here it is-in its glory-“What goes around, comes around.” The “just world theory” the karma thing. It’s been proven wrong many times-but as I said loads of people believe in it. Take it from me; it is a load of claptrap. In reality, bad behavior often goes unpunished and good behavior unrewarded. I have seen quite a few nasty people get away with blue murder and even have successful lives out of it, yet other people who bend over backwards and give up a lot to help other people don’t get as much as a thank you.

Mortality seems to be on my mind a lot-what happens next? and all that. I’m somewhat agnostic and like to think there is something there. For some reason I have stopped playing cds/records by artists who are no longer alive-with the exception of Hank Williams. Why Hank? I don’t know-I’ve always said that if there was a movie about my life Hank Williams would be the soundtrack stuff. Hank has many songs that can relate to many aspects of my life. Foolishly I am dwelling on the past far too much. Spilt milk, this is the first day of the rest of your life and that-but sorry I seem to have found a comfort zone in self pity and all that. 

The world in general is pretty much getting me down. Well to be precise, MY world in general. Just one knock back after another. Nothing I seem to be doing to improve my meaningless little life seems to be working, and I really do feel like giving up and just take a back seat and watch the world go by, at least that way I’ll get no more knock backs. In the short lived TV series “Dead Like Me.” (pardon the puns, but quirky that it was, I knew it would not have a long lifespan-but it WOULD have been nice, if it had a proper ending). The main character had a very cynical attitude (no wonder I liked her)-one of her quotes was “Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest.” Of course the optimists of the world say things like “Quitters never win, and winners never quit.” Again-claptrap. Sometimes on a Friday when work ends I wish I could just be unplugged and cease to exist until Monday morning when work starts again.

There is another saying that when people are on their death beds they regret the things they did not do, as opposed to things that they DID do. Well I have a long list of bad things that I did do-I am trying to amend some of them-but not doing very well.

I wished I had the courage to sit down and actually talk with somebody. But to be honest I don’t feel strong enough or trust anybody enough. I have noticed that when I am drunk I tend to drop my defensive's and open up. Which is probably why I try hard not to get drunk. But in saying that one woman I went out and got drunk with, and opened up to, turned out to be a potential bunny boiler, a psychopath-my sister-in-law and one of her friends pointed this out to me-and said if I kept on seeing her, I would be putting my life in danger…I took there advice. The relationship never got anywhere-which I realize was a good thing (insert slashing big knife emoticon). Despite being the nutter that she was, talking with the bunny boiler in training actually helped…a little.

The 21^st century-there is just too bloody much to do. Back when I were a lad. Before the internet,the quickness of computers,digital photography, video recorders, and all that stuff…I had more time to do the things I loved.We only had 3 television channels-so if there was nothing on I could read a book or listen to radio-if I missed a programme –I would ask somebody the next day.But now-if you you can record programmes-even days after it was originally on,you can record several programmes at once now. At night when I am trying to read a book-I am wondering about news items breaking on the internet, and if there are any new additions to other things on the internet, and I quickly get distracted.

UP

The Gerdymobile and Saiorse- my 2 bikes-touring bike and mountain bike. These are the things that help me keep my head above water. One year I was at a really low point, and some people were genuinely worried about me. If wasn’t for the Saturday mountain bike ride, I would never have survived. There is a song by Luka Bloom-“the acoustic motorbike” which is all about a cycle ride in Kerry. This sums up the whole meaning of cycling to me.

The Rambling-never thought I would say it but the rambling is starting to overtake the cycling. Gonna try a rambling holiday this year instead of the usual ICS one. I think it will be a Donegal one –as I seem too meet the nicest people there.(I've met mice people in other places too-but Donegal seems to be the best place)

I have decided that I am going to dedicate at least 2 hours a night to reading. And also try to have 2 nights a week in which I do not look at the internet/laptop. If I make one of those days Sunday(ramble day)-well I need not say anymore there.

The whatever

The days are sunnier and warmer-this means I will soon have to stop wearing my bobbly hats-with women it is shoes, with me it’s the bobbly hats. It confuses everyone at work when I come in wearing different ones every week. Happiness is a tight bobbly hat-that’s what  I say. Maybe I should start wearing hats like the Heisenberg persona in “Breaking Bad?”

I have a theory, that if we were locked in a room with no windows or connection with the outside world or any idea of the time we would live a 48 hour day (maybe more). I would love to get a chance to try this out. Joinees welcome

warning-serious bit(s) on the way

Ok I have no idea why I am doing this. This may be a prequel to a pretty serious one coming up soon. To be honest I’m not on particularly good form at the minute. A couple of people told me that even if I am the only person who reads this helps.

Wee bit annoyed that the movies I want to see are not showing any where near me (at the minute) and will be surprised if they are ever shown-so I’ll have to patiently wait for the dvds to come out.

The two movies? “20 feet from stardom” and “ the double”

“20 feet…” for the whole music thing the great backing singers-love that sort of stuff and looking at the soundtrack, it looks like music heaven to me-and I have a few of the songs in my collection.

“The Double” this is the new Richard Ayoade movie, staring Jesse Eisenberg-the guy from that movie about facebook (I know he’s done others, but to me that’s how I will always remember him-anyhow,) “The Double” is about this guy who is a real loser and he discovers he has an exact double-but this guy is everything that he is not :-successful, popular, has a really good life and all that. I am somewhat intrigued by these sort of movies. Other examples I can give are :- “groundhog day,” “about Time,” “Sliding Doors”- the whole parallel universe thing (you know bits were at certain points in our lifes when we do one little thing differently and it changes our future-I suppose the butterfly thing). There are quite a few things that I did in past I wish I could go back and do something else.

Now “the double” –I have heard people say that we all have a double somewhere. A doppelganger, a clone-call it what you want. I would love to meet my doppelganger  to see what he has made of HIS life to see if it’s as messed up as mine, to see if he made as many mistakes/wrong decisions as I did-or, dare I even wish this on anybody-is my situation the better of how many alternatives there is going on  out there?

Thinking of taking as break from the cycling this year-I seem to have lost interest in it. Maybe when the summer/good weather kicks in, I’ll change my mind.

I’ve signed up for a weekend photography thing down in Glencolm Cille in Donegal. I’ve been here a few times and really like this little village. The, now legendary 2011 ICS holiday stopped here-and I was there last year for a language/culture holiday. On this holiday I hope to pick up some new tips with taking pics  and processing. It’ll be nice to see if I am using elements/lightroom right.

Too be continued….but be prepared for a deadly serious one