i might regret this one-but who reads these any way?

Down

There’s a saying that really gets on my goat, one that I hear a lot-and surprisingly a lot, and I mean A LOT of people believe in this and quote it regularly, what is it? I hear one or two of you mumble…well, here it is-in its glory-“What goes around, comes around.” The “just world theory” the karma thing. It’s been proven wrong many times-but as I said loads of people believe in it. Take it from me; it is a load of claptrap. In reality, bad behavior often goes unpunished and good behavior unrewarded. I have seen quite a few nasty people get away with blue murder and even have successful lives out of it, yet other people who bend over backwards and give up a lot to help other people don’t get as much as a thank you.

Mortality seems to be on my mind a lot-what happens next? and all that. I’m somewhat agnostic and like to think there is something there. For some reason I have stopped playing cds/records by artists who are no longer alive-with the exception of Hank Williams. Why Hank? I don’t know-I’ve always said that if there was a movie about my life Hank Williams would be the soundtrack stuff. Hank has many songs that can relate to many aspects of my life. Foolishly I am dwelling on the past far too much. Spilt milk, this is the first day of the rest of your life and that-but sorry I seem to have found a comfort zone in self pity and all that. 

The world in general is pretty much getting me down. Well to be precise, MY world in general. Just one knock back after another. Nothing I seem to be doing to improve my meaningless little life seems to be working, and I really do feel like giving up and just take a back seat and watch the world go by, at least that way I’ll get no more knock backs. In the short lived TV series “Dead Like Me.” (pardon the puns, but quirky that it was, I knew it would not have a long lifespan-but it WOULD have been nice, if it had a proper ending). The main character had a very cynical attitude (no wonder I liked her)-one of her quotes was “Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest.” Of course the optimists of the world say things like “Quitters never win, and winners never quit.” Again-claptrap. Sometimes on a Friday when work ends I wish I could just be unplugged and cease to exist until Monday morning when work starts again.

There is another saying that when people are on their death beds they regret the things they did not do, as opposed to things that they DID do. Well I have a long list of bad things that I did do-I am trying to amend some of them-but not doing very well.

I wished I had the courage to sit down and actually talk with somebody. But to be honest I don’t feel strong enough or trust anybody enough. I have noticed that when I am drunk I tend to drop my defensive's and open up. Which is probably why I try hard not to get drunk. But in saying that one woman I went out and got drunk with, and opened up to, turned out to be a potential bunny boiler, a psychopath-my sister-in-law and one of her friends pointed this out to me-and said if I kept on seeing her, I would be putting my life in danger…I took there advice. The relationship never got anywhere-which I realize was a good thing (insert slashing big knife emoticon). Despite being the nutter that she was, talking with the bunny boiler in training actually helped…a little.

The 21^st century-there is just too bloody much to do. Back when I were a lad. Before the internet,the quickness of computers,digital photography, video recorders, and all that stuff…I had more time to do the things I loved.We only had 3 television channels-so if there was nothing on I could read a book or listen to radio-if I missed a programme –I would ask somebody the next day.But now-if you you can record programmes-even days after it was originally on,you can record several programmes at once now. At night when I am trying to read a book-I am wondering about news items breaking on the internet, and if there are any new additions to other things on the internet, and I quickly get distracted.

UP

The Gerdymobile and Saiorse- my 2 bikes-touring bike and mountain bike. These are the things that help me keep my head above water. One year I was at a really low point, and some people were genuinely worried about me. If wasn’t for the Saturday mountain bike ride, I would never have survived. There is a song by Luka Bloom-“the acoustic motorbike” which is all about a cycle ride in Kerry. This sums up the whole meaning of cycling to me.

The Rambling-never thought I would say it but the rambling is starting to overtake the cycling. Gonna try a rambling holiday this year instead of the usual ICS one. I think it will be a Donegal one –as I seem too meet the nicest people there.(I've met mice people in other places too-but Donegal seems to be the best place)

I have decided that I am going to dedicate at least 2 hours a night to reading. And also try to have 2 nights a week in which I do not look at the internet/laptop. If I make one of those days Sunday(ramble day)-well I need not say anymore there.

The whatever

The days are sunnier and warmer-this means I will soon have to stop wearing my bobbly hats-with women it is shoes, with me it’s the bobbly hats. It confuses everyone at work when I come in wearing different ones every week. Happiness is a tight bobbly hat-that’s what  I say. Maybe I should start wearing hats like the Heisenberg persona in “Breaking Bad?”

I have a theory, that if we were locked in a room with no windows or connection with the outside world or any idea of the time we would live a 48 hour day (maybe more). I would love to get a chance to try this out. Joinees welcome

warning-serious bit(s) on the way

Ok I have no idea why I am doing this. This may be a prequel to a pretty serious one coming up soon. To be honest I’m not on particularly good form at the minute. A couple of people told me that even if I am the only person who reads this helps.

Wee bit annoyed that the movies I want to see are not showing any where near me (at the minute) and will be surprised if they are ever shown-so I’ll have to patiently wait for the dvds to come out.

The two movies? “20 feet from stardom” and “ the double”

“20 feet…” for the whole music thing the great backing singers-love that sort of stuff and looking at the soundtrack, it looks like music heaven to me-and I have a few of the songs in my collection.

“The Double” this is the new Richard Ayoade movie, staring Jesse Eisenberg-the guy from that movie about facebook (I know he’s done others, but to me that’s how I will always remember him-anyhow,) “The Double” is about this guy who is a real loser and he discovers he has an exact double-but this guy is everything that he is not :-successful, popular, has a really good life and all that. I am somewhat intrigued by these sort of movies. Other examples I can give are :- “groundhog day,” “about Time,” “Sliding Doors”- the whole parallel universe thing (you know bits were at certain points in our lifes when we do one little thing differently and it changes our future-I suppose the butterfly thing). There are quite a few things that I did in past I wish I could go back and do something else.

Now “the double” –I have heard people say that we all have a double somewhere. A doppelganger, a clone-call it what you want. I would love to meet my doppelganger  to see what he has made of HIS life to see if it’s as messed up as mine, to see if he made as many mistakes/wrong decisions as I did-or, dare I even wish this on anybody-is my situation the better of how many alternatives there is going on  out there?

Thinking of taking as break from the cycling this year-I seem to have lost interest in it. Maybe when the summer/good weather kicks in, I’ll change my mind.

I’ve signed up for a weekend photography thing down in Glencolm Cille in Donegal. I’ve been here a few times and really like this little village. The, now legendary 2011 ICS holiday stopped here-and I was there last year for a language/culture holiday. On this holiday I hope to pick up some new tips with taking pics  and processing. It’ll be nice to see if I am using elements/lightroom right.

Too be continued….but be prepared for a deadly serious one

ok America-kind of

For reasons that could well make up another blog, I have always been very unenthusiastic with the idea of taking a holiday abroad/out of Ireland. Any ways after much deliberation and mind changing, in November 2013 I decided to go ahead a book a flight to New York in January –a good way to round off my unused leave days (15 if you are in any way curious). If I had a pound for everyone who questioned my reason for going at this time of year and not a “warmer time” like April –I would have had £4 ( I KNOW that’s not a lot –but it give you an idea). The main reason for this time was that if I did not do it then I would NEVER have done it.

This was planned to be in 2 parts but for various reasons-I’m making this very short-want anymore? Email me…if you’re not that far a way-maybe I’ll tell you over a pint or a mug of drinking chocolate.

I don’t know if traveling so far abroad is a phobia of mine or just pure laziness with booking air flights/hotels/getting taxis/buses/train to and from airports etc. I just do my best to avoid that sort of thing.

Now this was actually a good experience –meeting up with 2 people I met on some great cycling holidays in Ireland and also meeting up with a virtual friend (is that the right term?) and her family.

I saw (and did not see) some great sights. New York is amazing, after walking round (part of) Central Park I could see why Sue (my NYC guide) loved it so much. The day I wanted to go to the top of the Empire State there was a return of the snow-and the guy at the lift told me to save my money as I would see nothing. Despite being a blizzard it proved to be spectacular to see and experience. Sue took me to the recording of a TV show-which was a great experience; I was able to watch the show on TV later.

Washington DC was great too-great view from balcony in hotel. Very cold there too-but not as blizzard like NYC was. No TV show here, but Marni was a great guide-even though I only got to see her when she finished work. She went out of her way to make sure I was entertained.

When phoning home “to let them know I was ok and all that” I was told that a friend of mine had died on the day I flew out to JFK –that news was kind of expected as I knew he was quite bad, but was not something I wanted to hear out there.

It has got me thinking, y’know all that “you’ll be a long time dead” and that sort of stuff and I am now going to try to have a “far away” trip every year now. Even if it’s only 4 or 5 days. If I do go back to America (and I hope I do) I think I’ll just stay in the one city this time. It has also got me thinking about re-friending some people on  Fbook too.

When I got back to Ireland and people were complaining about the cold I got great mileage saying “Cold? Compared to what I experienced in America last week, this is T-Shirt weather.”

Any ways Sue,Marni, Carrie & tribe and of course Sue/Marni’s friends that I met thank you for a brilliant time. The trip was a bit of an eye-opener for me. Hopefully next time I’ll have somebody with me-and also be going at a more weather/cycling friendly time of year. The photos should be on flickr soon.

my bags are packed and it's time to go-well not quite yet

Good

I’m New York USA bound on Saturday, to be followed by DC (I had to say USA there, as I know there is a New York in Lincolnshire in England-bit of a story there too-maybe later-or even will tell in NY and DC, if the peeps there remind me). I excited and nervous about this expedition. Could be a whole new learning experience for me-maybe next year, or even this summer/autumn I could be heading out again and staying longer in just the one area-maybe get in some small town America (like in the Bill Bryson book). Must admit if someone had said this to me last summer I would have said that there is no way I would ever go to America-or in fact anywhere abroad. But then I’ve said all this before.

The outdoors –ok it’s cold,wet and sometimes miserable-BUT it is near perfect for getting outside and away from crowded, overpriced gyms-not only are you saving money,but also your sanity. The skies are clear,the air fresh and the craic is great. I cannot explain the after effect of a hike over a hill/mountain in a cold and wet day-when you step into the shower to get scrubbed down, and sitting with your feet up supping a mug of something hot, and reminiscing on the days walk .

No More of those “special” TV shows-not a big TV fan –but those “re-union” type shows never work in my opinion.

THE BAD

Digital Watches-and them ones on peoples mobile/cell phones. What is wrong with the “real” watches. Ask someone the time now (I don’t wear a watch-but have a pretty cool pocket watch and a cheap one I got at a stall in a market which is usually shoved in pocket in my backpack) and they bring out a smartphone (or whatever) and say “It’s 4:23” or GAWD FORBID “It’s 18:38” WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN? With the old real watches with the two hands on them you would hear them say “It’s almost 25 past 4” or “It’s almost 20 to 7” 18:38? I have to use my mental arithmetic to work out that 18 hrs is the same as 6pm . And the worst thing about these new fangled monstrosities means an end to one of my favourite jokes:- “What time is it Gerdy?” “It’s 10 past” “Ten past what?” “I don’t know, the little hand has fallen off my watch.”

The Book People-every so often these guys come round with bundles of books (and stuff). You can nearly guess what sort of stuff will be there, depending on time of year.Prior to Christmas, there are loads of recipe and children’s stuff. And around this time it is diet books –and every year the women at work will discuss the diet books claiming a particular author’s “last one” was very good and will sigh up for the new one-“mustn’t have worked then” I say and what’s wrong with just sticking with the old one? More I say-what’s wrong with getting out and exercising and cutting down on the rubbish. In saying that, last time I got a great “Where’s Wally?” book-kept me entertained for days…

The Whatever

THE USA TRIP-OK OK I KNOW I KNOW-I’ve said this a great many times before. I am still in two minds about undertaking this trip. I think I would have been happier going to a few towns “down south”(Galway,Cork,Ballyvaughan,Kinsale,Glencolmcille etc)-at least I am getting drink and crisps (ok ok potato chips) I know and like. I am nervous about the idea of being airborne for 7 hours-and twice, the jet lag, the size of the places I am going. But you never know I could end up loving the experience and when I return I’ll be making a plan for a return visit(s) (well there is 2 cities-3 if …well I’ll explain later). I hope to get some scratch cards and do the lottery over there-imagine the headlines “Gerdy from Derry wins massive jackpot in roll over lottery.” Better bring my Derry away polo shirt-just in case.

Any ways-that’s it-for now

the day gets closer

OK it’s too late now, if I had a pound for everybody who has asked me, why I am going to New York now and not March or April –even August, I would have £8 -oh and if you count € land too- €2. )The answer to this question-and I think I am the only person who will understand this-if I did NOT do this now, I don’t think I would ever have done it-well not unless some hot babe talked me in to going over there with her.

At the time of typing this there is news reports on television about terrible snow conditions there. My two contacts over there are telling me not to worry-it’ll pass. Yeah but what if I had booked my flight/hotel for this weekend instead of the 18^th? I do have a “what the heck-it’s only money.” Attitude here if it should go belly up, I have no idea what way the insurance works with regards to “acts of God” stopping a flight. And I have no idea how to contact the hotel in New York if the flight is delayed.

On the other hand, I hope this gets me over my avoidance of trips abroad, and that this could even become a regular thing.

Too be honest, I am more worried about letting people down over there. If by any chance (and I hope NOT) this has to be cancelled due to this inclement/unexpected weather-I’ll still find somewhere to go. Will obviously mean more spemding-but what the heck, this is what my “treat savings” are for after all.

I am now working on things I want to buy when over there. Me being me, it’s silly things mostly. I hope to get a new kit-lens for my camera and dump the old one somewhere over there. Of course I’ll be looking for the often mentioned bobbly hats,graphic novels,cds,maybe a new rambling waterproof jacket,a pen of some sort, tacky stuff, some camera accessories –maybe a couple of shirts.

I want to get a cheap pay as you go mobile(ok cell phone) to keep in touch with the contacts out there when there-but somebody has said I can get a half decent one with wi-fi and all that for a cheap price.

Thankfully my two American friends are keeping me calm and telling me that this weather thing will soon pass. I said it before-but I was hoping to see a little snow in NY as I’m sure it will be picturescue –but not what is there now.

Any –it’ll not be the end of the world if flight is cancelled etc etc .And I am not the only person who has booked a flight on these dates (and if I am, I wonder will I get a free upgrade) But what ever happens I really do hope to be back again come September or October this year-maybe one week in one city-see more-maybe get in some cycling/rambling.

Back on the weather again-this one made me titter-and I quote “New Jersey governor Chris Christie ordered non-essential state workers to stay home.” Bit of a double whammy here I thought –a free day(s) off –but then you think “hmm if I’m non-essential –how safe is my job?” Great but scarey picture of Lahinch harbour, County Clare of the waves battering the harbour-was there a few times with the ICS cycling holiday crowd I go on.

Will soon be the 10, 9,8 countdown-and then I’ll annoy everybody even more. Too lazy to check this over.

this week listening too "Crimson/Red" -Prefab Sprout and  "The Next Day"-David Bowie. Struggling to read "Wild"-Cheryl Strayed (strange cos i like this kind of stuff) -made up for it by reading "Where's Wally" and a new graphic novel called "Wormwood" -Wormwood is the anti-christ (his dad is the devil), his best friend is Jesus, he has a pet rabbit that can talk-great stuff it was too-very sharp biting wit.

to be continued and spell checked by my reader

And the countdown gets serious-almost

Well –we’re getting close to the serious countdown for the American trip. At time of bashing the keyboards it is something like 17 days-well if you count the overnight in Dublin pre flight it is 16 days. Whenever I finished my ICS holidays some Americans, along with the farewell hug said “And if you’re ever in the states –call and see me/us.”

I never thought I would be doing this-AND I am meeting up with 2 people out of my top 6 favourite people I have met on these trips-and I have met a LOT of people over the years on these holidays. There is one person-who is actually in New York I have lost touch with (despite my attempts to get back in touch) I think I have her email address somewhere and I think I know were her business is. I am not sure if trying again and letting her know I’m coming over would freak her out or not-so am holding back. Maybe, like in the movie “Serendipity,” fate and the powers that be will throw us together –what was it April said to Adam in “The Hot Tub Time Machine” –“Maybe the universe will bring us together again...” (don’t ya just love ellipses ? I can’t get enough of them… )ANY WAYS where was I? Yeah-maybe fate will throw Connie and me back together again-romantic old sop that’s me. Maybe this USA  trip could also become a regular thing-maybe stick in the one place for a whole week next time? Or even a meet up and a usa version of an ICS holiday? Maybe I’ll even meet a new Connie and soon I’ll be saying Connie? Who’s Connie?

So now I’m working out what I want to buy and do over there. Hope to get a new camera lens, graphic novels, cds,bobbly hats and tacky stuff-maybe a shirt or two. Of course see the sights, do a tour on bus and all that. And being the culchie that I am, I’ll be complaining about the exorbitant prices I’m paying for a coffee and a sandwich, and will walk up somewhere like Central Avenue looking around at the shops/stores mumbling “Jeez, I might as well be in Derry.” You never know I could make new friends there too. Might even take a couple of bags of the red taytos or our chocolate or  chocolate kimberlys? Also wondering what lenses to take with me-mind you the current kit lens which has a battle scar –so embarrassing/typical gerdy hoe it happened-will be left behind somewhere in NY/DC.

Hope to recover from the terrible 2013 cycling year and get more miles in this year. Also want to give the Irish Language holiday thing another go too, but hope to get back into my normal time for holidaying which is August. But it’s too early for me to be thinking about summer-let’s get NY and DC out of the way first-things can change.

Right good,bad, and the ugly

GOOD

Obviously the American trip-excited and scared about this.

The year of culture in derry-did not see a lot of it-but what I did catch was great. The all Ireand Fleadh was outstanding. I got to see one of my rock idols, Elvis Costello live-managed to catch one song on movie mode. And I actually met and spoke to the members of one of my favourite bands Bell X 1 when they did a free acoustic pop up gig in my local record shop-got them to sign the current album and got some photos and filmed one song too.

The Irish language/culture holiday was new and very different-by coincidence Carolyn from last year’s cycling holiday was on this too and she coaxed me in to doing the set dancing classes –which was great craic, a number of people told me I was actually good at it too.

The rambling club had a great year too-over at the Lake District again-weather not the best-in fact on first day we had rain of John Ford western proportions-but the craic was 90. And some great walks on the home island too. And I’ll explain the rock story when I am in NY and DC.

Music wise-the David Bowie surprise album “The Next Day,” Prefab Sprout’s “Crimson/Red,” and John Grant’s “Pale Green Ghosts” were all excellent-Bowie’s is as good as the stuff he was doing around the time of “Ashes to Ashes”. The Prefab Sprout one is basically Paddy McAloon on his own now-but this one is up there with the likes of “Jordan The Comeback.” Paddy is pretty ill at the moment, terrible problems with both hearing and eyesight. And music in general-got back in to my music last year-said it countless times before but to say my taste in music is eclectic is an understatement.

We’ve passed the shortest day of the year-so technically the days are getting longer. We won’t really notice until the end of this month-but hey. That’s not that far away.

BAD

The Tayto chocolate-cheese n onion crisps. Crisps and chocolate together-very bad idea here. Just did not work. Did not taste good to start with-but that after taste that stays in mouth when done was somewhat nightmarish.

The whole flag (pronounced fleg) carry on here. Should never have started in first place-made the situation here a laughing stock-makes me laugh any way.

2013 cycling year for me was a non event-hope to make up for it in 2014-if it was not for the rambling club I would have got no exercise at all.

Internet connection where I am-nuff said.

On a serious note, life in general. But then bad things do happen. We’re not immortal and life comes to an end sometime. But for some people it seems to come a little too soon. In the book “The Princess Bride” it finishes with the line “Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.” Reason for this is because a cycling buddy of mine is pretty ill and it’s not looking good-sorry folks

The ugly

Selfies –fed up seeing and hearing about these things-but in saying that will no doubt do one or two when in the states.

The mud on my mountain bike- but will wash after next mtb ride.

Technolgy-just when I have the money gathered up to get the new canon 7D they will announce the 8D-which will be even more better than the 7 –as long as they just don’t bring out a replacement for my sony personal minidisc for a while I’ll be ok.

Currently hooked on that minefield game on computer-on the middle level at minute-soon as I do a complete one I’m on to the hard one-and am doing pretty good at minute.

Reading over these things and correcting mistooks is a pain.

good? bad? ugly? decide for yourself-comments please

It was in the news today that Ian Watkins, the lead singer in the band The Lostprophets has been sentenced to 35 years in prison for horrendous pedophile crimes. The young lady who sits opposite me at work said that she has binned all her Lostphrophets cds and things. To be honest I don’t think I have heard the band. I asked her if he had been found guilty of murdering someone would she still listen to his stuff. She thought for a moment and that she would. Phil Sector was found guilty of murder (I think) but his stuff is still played on radio. But when a rock star is found guity of a pedophile crime he (not sure if there is any she’s) is shunned and his stuff is never aired on radio (or anywhere again). It seems that harming a child is seen as a greater crime than taking a life. In a way harming a child is killing his/her childhood.

But still-what do you think?

Ok I have started to get the US dollars-so I’m building up the cash. I have Sue and Gabriel# to thank for pushing me into going with the initial plan. So now I am deciding the plan-things to get,things to see,PEOPLE to see-to be honest that’s what I am looking forward to most. I am  hoping I can get a new lens for my camera cheaper over there too. Of course I’ll be looking for tacky stuff too.

Christmas FM –I am scunered*  with it (well actually by the 2^nd day). I never thought I would be fed up hearing “Fairytale of New York.” And to make matters worse I am hearing ones I had hoped would never be heard again, like Dana’s “It’s Gonna Be A Cold Cold Christmas.”Bad thing here is she was quite pretty back then and there was a girl in my class at school who looked a lot like her too (insert sigh emoticon) Unfortunately I am yet to hear “Grandma Got Run Over By  A Reindeer.” Or  “Father Christmas Do Not Touch Me”-but then maybe that’s really a good thing as I would be turning the radio up and singing a long.

I know it’s been out a while-but after getting the US Dollars I treated myself to a limited special edition of David Bowie’s “The Next Day”-has extra songs/remixes and dvds. Listening to it as I type this and it’s pretty good stuff indeed.

Merry Christmas folks – just in case I do no more before then. Hope to a better attempt at 2014 than I did of 2013-maybe I’ll get some tips in the U S OF A. I’ll leave you with this….well I sort of HAD too.

By the way I would love to hear your comments on the Ian Watkins thing-if YOUR favourite singer was found guilty of murder or a pedophile crime-which one/both would make you dump all there stuff-or in fact would you even dump it at all?

# Gabriel-met him on an ICS cylcling holiday 4 or 5 times. He is everything I am not-very serious and “normal.” But we get on really well-almost a double act. I was told that he said he was envious of how I rattle the jokes off at a moments notice. I hope to meet up with him in Dublin the night before I fly out. Well Gabriel reminded me I was meeting up with Marni-another ICS companion from DC who I still enjoy keeping in touch with.

* Scunered-A term commonly used in Ireland (mostly northern Ireland) it means pissed off, bored, agitated  for any reason whatsoever