remember this?

I had a kind of serious blog on a while ago about the bumps on my arms,between 2 toes. And being told if removed I would have a permanent numbness "but i would get used to it" -well that was back in October. I now have a date for the procedure-Jan 5th at 17:30. I have now until Thursday when I am back at work to decide what I am going to do. Part of me does not want to get this thing done as 1. It's not doing me any harm.It's more other people are more aware of it than I am.And it's not really causing me any harm(I think) or pain-except the very odd time something might whack it in a certain way. 2 I'm a little bit worried about the numbness bit-as I am the sort of person who would make sure that I don't get used to it.
I don't know if they will get any bigger or not AND if I decide to get them removed if they will grow again or not.
I could just turn up and ask the doctor (who has a name that looks like letters in a game of Countdown ) about the after effects and if they will grow again,if I don't get them removed if they'll get any bigger-or any other dangers. After all i've been aware of at least one of these things since i was 12 or 13.
All of the people I have spoke to have said to get them removed-but then they find the sight of them a little off putting.A friend said that he does not really notice it anymore. So part of me is thinking this is more cosmetic than anything. If removing them left  scars -i could dream up some good stories on how i got them.
I am thinking of discussing this with a sister -who is a nurse,be it psychiatric, about the dilemma to see what she thinks.
At the end of the day it is my choice-but as they're not doing me any harm I don't know why I am going through with this.Admittedly I was aware of just how big one of them was in a photo this year.
 But.......

Christmas? Who needs it anyway?

Some folk are under the impression I hate Christmas in an Ebenezer Scrooge way (he was too soft if you ask me). I don’t hate Christmas; I actually like it-the whole family thing-the getting together and chilling out.

What I hate is the ritual- decorations-the labour of putting them up and within 10 minutes you don’t notice them.At work someone is bound to insist on getting new ones which are only fawned over when they come out of the box-after that ask the person where the new ones are amongst the rest and they won’t know.

My supposed hatred of Christmas is a running joke at work, but with my dry sense of humour one person this year did not catch one and when I threatened to remove the head of a hideous monkey that sung jingle bells when a button was pressed-she called me a miserable so and so and to let everyone else enjoy the season. About ten minutes later she actually apologized to me saying she was having a bad day-I of course told it was just an act and I expected responses like that. The office got revenge and made me give out the secret Santa presents this year-with my droll delivery and copying an eviction on the tv show “I’m a celebrity get me out of here” it went down very well and everyone commented on how funny it was-and they want me to do it next year(drat foiled again)

Any way what I hate most is the presents thing. Now once you stop believing in Santa the toys stop and the nothing but clothes start. I believe that Christmas and birthdays are a time when you should get something you want as opposed to some thing you need (or don’t need sometimes).I remember an aunt from England always sent us a parcel of presents at Christmas-toys. When I was ten everyone got cool toys-I got a horrid tie. Everyone else laughed and I realized-this is it, no more toys, it’s clothes from now on. Funny thing is, during my punk years, I thought the tie was so bad it was perfect-alas I no longer had it. I’m a big kid when buying presents and wait eagerly as they open the present only to see the forced smile with “oh that’s lovely” and then it's  buried in a drawer never to be seen again. Now perfumes-I haven’t a clue, they all smell the same to me. You could give me a bottle of used bath water, put in a dash of toilet cleaner and tell me it’s an exclusive expensive perfume and I would believe you, and pay big money. Aftershave is the same, I never wear the stuff. I have a battered pullover that is 2 sizes too big for me-looks pretty horrible too, that I only wear in the winter around the house over a t-shirt or on the way into work when it is bitterly cold-NEVER worn at work. It is only washed once a year, in  March –when it gets warmer. There are toothpaste stains on here from October –when I started wearing it this year. My mother hates this pullover and just does not get why I like it so much. There are new ones I got 2 or 3 Christmases ago that are still in drawer that were only worn once on the boxing day( or st stephen’s day) and they are not too big-drat.

I hate the whole shopping thing-the crowds, I love the open spaces-not a queue a mile long and 6 people wide. There is always someone 2 or 3 in front of me who forgets something and they send a precocious offspring back to get it and wait 10 minutes at counter for it to return. As I’m on my own I have to go to the back of queue again, if I forget something. Maybe I could make a few pounds by hiring myself as a “go back and getter.”

People say getting tokens/vouchers is cheating and thoughtless. Me? this is the ideal present I would be more than happy with tokens for HMVor my local book shop- I could go and get dvds of Northern Exposure or Seinfeld or …well anything. I actually just give vouchers now-as this saves any embarrassment

I told my mother this year not to get me anything as I don’t need nor want anything

“You too late “ she said “I got you something”………a jumper- that one’s done” and the worst thing is it will more than likely be the right size.I'll more than likely wear her jumper once or twice then it's back to old faithful -and after a while the pile of "new" jumpers will be off to the charity shop.

Merry bloomin’ Christmas folks-hope you get at least one toy-cos that’s what it’s all about.

yak yak yak

was on an item seeking mission to Belfast a couple of weeks ago. A mission to find a replacement strap for my trusty rucksack.The first shop I went to was a lovely little shop that was well hidden,off the beaten track and all that. I told the sales person what I was looking for and even had the aforesaid rucksack with me. The guy shook his head and said

“Nobody buys replacements anymore-everything is so affordable theses days,people just get a new one.” Hmmp-true a new rucksack won’t break me,but why should I spend my cash on something I don’t really need? This is why there is so much landfill out there. True, I can be wasteful sometimes-for example when I go on holidays I have a use it and lose it system with undies,socks and one T-shirt. Because it’s too much like hard work separating stuff in my ever so light carrier bag (the t-shirt I wear in bed all week).

Now I DID get a replacement strap in the end-it’s not perfect,but it’ll do until I save up some cash for a new rucksack-and then the old one is off to the charity shop-unless I can get a seamstress to do a more lasting job on it. Also discovered that my boots do not have much life left –but then when that time comes I will NEED to change them

And another thing, I HATE getting my photo taken-that whole “smile to order thing”-I just can’t do it.People as me why I look so miserable in photos and I tell them I AM smiling. Allow me to something daft and that’s ok –but that sensible pose with a photo smile-nope just can’t do it. Now I love looking at photos of people-but myself-ugh! I am famous for avoiding being in photographs and some people thing they have achieved a lifelong goal if they get a photo of me.

There is a photo of me and a woman I met on holiday once (the famous Connie) Now I was totally infatuated with her,and we got on great-on a couple of days she asked me to break away from the group and just cycle with her. She left the holiday early-2 days before end as she wanted to go to see her family-as she was over from America.On her last night she asked me to go off for a quiet drink or two before we met up with rest of group for dinner. We had  a great chat and she told me her current relationship problems-and later by email she sent me an email thanking for me for being such a good listener-and that I was the first person she told about the beak up.The next morning at breakfast another woman in group (who did not know that Connie left early) asked me to cycle with her instead of Connie that morning. ANY WAY I digress. On her last night I had a photo taken of the two of us together and you can see for yourself I could not even get a proper smile here.

Don’t know how this copies over-but see what I mean-if she had asked me to pack in holiday and head off to Cavan to see the family –I would have gone, ok I was curious to see if she had any sisters (well New York is too far away).  But as I said,someone gets out a camera and I either sneak away or hide behind someone taller/broader than me.
Incidentally I lost contact with Connie-but via the power of facebook and google i tracked her down-I sent her a couple of messages but got no reply-so for all you romantics there's no happy ending here....sorry

crabbit? moi??

I’m not one to complain. But……wait a minute I AM , after all I  am a full time

cynic. W C Fields said “Start the day with a smile, and get it over with.” Well even though I did not get out on bike today I heard some good radio,saw a couple of episodes of Northern Exposure and chilled out.

Right down to business. It’s ever changing technology again. I remember many years ago a new thing came out- 8 track tapes. Now this,back then was the dog’s dodas as far as technology went.These were installed in cars and we had music on the move.These things were big and chunky and the album was cut into 4 bits,so you could jump from one part of album to another-not from song to song mind you-but we thought they were great. In no time at all something new arrived-the cassette tape-much more compact AND you could record on to them.So now the only time you you see an 8 track was in a tractor. Ever since then I have labled any new tech that I think has a short life span as “the new 8 track” Mini Discs –once again these were great,but with the onset of the whole digital downloading songs onto a computer I knew we had a new 8 track called mini disc

I was in Belfast and was in a hi-fi shop. I was looking for a DAB/FM radio for my stereo deck. After all DAB is the way forward-or so I thought. “OH you don’t want DAB “ the guy told me- “Internet Radio-that’s what you want now” Soooo it looketh like DAB radio is now an 8 track. I actually heard an add for internet radio on my favourite radio station(not on DAB yet) claiming you can listen to radio stations all over the world-why? I have 2 favourite radio stations that are not yet on DAB and the bloke in shop said that FM will be around for a very long time yet. I can’t see the point in wanting to listen to a radio station on the other side of the world-unless I had to move there and wanted to hear my favourite stations back home. And (and ONLY this) I could pick up a station that had a Chris in the morning-like in Northern Exposure.

                                                                                                         

Photography-there is now a super dooper new super compact camera out that is, supposedly, as good as the SLR (forgot the name for it). They have interchanable lens-but what do I want THAT for –as my compact is shoved in back of cycling jersey when out on mtb or pocket when out somewhere at night-if you saw it you would know what I get up to.In saying that the whole digital thing has made me lose interest in photography. True you can take hundreds of pictures on a memory card-but it takes a lot of time editing them before getting them printed. I really do miss the little roll with 36 pictures that you took to a store to get developed. I’ve noticed with a lot of people the photos are put onto a hard drive and there they stay for ever. Also in the camera mags it’s all about editing in the ubiquitous all powerful photoshop that seems to get updated periodically.So you need the latest edition to do something you don't actually need-but some people will think looks really good.

Maybe I should just sit down and work on pictures I think are worth developing and get them printed,and stop putting it off-and only use the tips I actually need-or just fiddle about until it looks good.

And anyway the sound on those 8 tracks was pretty good too-and don’t get me started on television. But in saying that dvd is much better than video  and I hope this 3d thing is a non starter-please…

 So if any body knows of a radio station with a Chris in the morning-let me know.
Mug of tae anyone?

no idea why i'm doing this

No idea why or how this one’s going to go-bit seriousish bit silly.

I have had this thing since I was about 12 or 13 years old. Apparently it is hereditary

but I don’t know anyone else in my family who has it. It is called  Neurofibromatosis.The one on my left arm has grown a bit over the years.The one on my right arm has just  been there about 15 years. I also have a little one between my big toe and one beside it on my right foot.The photo here was taken on holiday this year and I have only realised how big the bump is(I don’t appear in many photos).

I have spoken to a doctor about this and he told me it would be a deep cut and would mean going into a nerve and I would have a permanent numbness in that area-no feeling. But I would still have 100% usage of hand. I asked him if I would be able to play the piano-he said yes and I said “That’s good because I can’t play it now.”  He gave me a blank look-bloomin’ foreigner did not get it. ANY WAY I was thinking about this and thought will it grow again? And if the one on my foot is removed it could upset my sense of balance and I might have to relearn riding a bike again. And any way if it leaves a scar-I could have great fun making up stories where it came from.

Picture below-the one on salute arm is just about visible-the other arm…bigger

I had decided not to go ahead with this.I recently had to see an eye specialist about something and the nurse who was getting me ready was remarking how thin my medical file was. I mentioned the arm/foot things and said to cancel the appointment. She said that I don’t know if they are going to get any bigger/worse and encouraged me to go ahead with the appointment and decide then-I am taking her advice-and I think I have discovered a new bump in a rather embarrassing place.

The eye specialist told me that I have glaucoma and has prescribed some eyedrops I will be taking for life (so mammy was right-it actually WAS bad for my eyesight).This is an age thing-so I don’t mind.

For some inexplicable reason I was thinking on things I missed.When I meet some of my old workmates they ask me what do I miss most-they think I’ll mention someone’s name-but the first thing I say is the free car park.Then my little seat that looked into the post room where there was a lot of eye candy,then a certain delicacy off the tea trolley and only then do I say the name they expect. But this got me thinking about something I miss much more, something I have never had a chance to experience in a very long time…tea and lunch in a canteen.Now they are taken at the  work desk and it ain’t as good anymore-the whole social aspect has vanished, the whole conversation thing has gone cos the person beside you is usually working and sometimes you can’t talk cos somebody else is on the phone.The only ones who seem to get away from the desk are the smokers. I even miss the queuing up for a terrible cup of tea or coffee.For some reason where I am nobody seems to want to go to the kitchen area cos they’re busy on the internet.

Any way I am waiting for the appointment for the removing of my bumps-it’s not an overnight thing-but if I can pluck up the courage to mention the awkward one-this could be the thing I need to boost my confidence-I think

Reasons to be cheerful-again

                                                               

When you’re done in the dumps the worst thing you can hear is some idiot saying something like “Cheer up, it’ll never happen “ or “things could be worse.”    I have a very dry sense of humour and rarely smile-so I’m not always as miserable as I look.

I have actually noticed how miserable I DO actually look and am doing my best to improve my facial expression. Another term I don’t really like is people saying (to anybody actually) is “Cheer up-you’ve got your health,a job, a roof over your head etc etc.” yeah yeah it is good to have these things. But any way George Bernard Shaw said “A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it-it would be Hell on Earth”

When I feel down I count my blessings and they change everyday as most of mine are those little things that make you feel good.For example one night I was driving home and was feeling pretty crap when the radio station I had on played 3 of my favourite records in a row-made me feel much better –when I got home I actually phoned the station and thanked the jock. So here  are some things that make me feel good and realise that life in general is not that bad-some bits COULD be better but we’ll get to that later.

1. Free State Tayto cheese ‘n onion/King cheese n onion crisps   -an Irish thing

2. The countryside

3. Bicycles

4  Rucksacks

5 Irish Radio

6 Women who dress well

7 The Scottish female voice

8 Women

9 The dvd-so much entertainment whenever I want

10 Sharon Ni Bhealin-she reads the news on Irish television-it may be bad,but I’d rather hear it from her. Oh and RTE’s weather girls

11 Irish Cycling Safaris-I have met some great, interesting and weird people on these holidays

12 Ireland is still probably a better place to live than Afghanistan –or Nottingham come to think of it. 

13 The spellchecker on the computer-you don’t know how many times I have had to correct this.

14     I have said this a few times before but,my guardian angel. I may somewhat agnostic but someone is most definitely looking after me-from birth. I had a very              

difficult breach birth and also I can remember a few other incidents that was lucky to survive at all.

15 Those bloomin vuvuzelas we heard in last world cup never took off.

16 Puncture proof bicycle tyres

17 When someone compliments me on a quick fire one liner I say.

18 Women

19 the beeping noise the car makes when you open a door with the lights on.

And the one that I say to myself every morning I get up and before I go to sleep at night “I can ride a bike,I can read a book and I can pee standing up.”                       

update

Some of my old blogs were rather serious and open.I got a reaction from someone that left me a little uneasy so i decided to delete them.Three of my small band of readers were very encouraging and i than yous for that.But in a rage i decided to delete them. I have them saved somewhere as i have some of their blogs so i can read them when off line. I'm going to keep blogging and hopefully my warped humor will come out again and hopefully gain one or two new followers. Now I have nothing against it and all that but 8 times out of 10 when i hit next blog it is some religious thing-anybody else get this? I wonder does some devout Christian (or whatever) hit next and get one like mine and sprinkle holy water (or whatever ) over their keyboard

And another thing...

When I was a lot younger I steadily heard from my elders how good we had it and frequently heard a monologue beginning “In my day…..” I always hoped I would never get like that-but I have, But not just at the younger generations-my own sometimes. I can’t abide the reliance on the car for the shortest of trips-well that’s about it for everyone in general.

Things today are pretty good in general but for some things the old days were much better.First the bad things about the days when I were a lad.

BAD PAST

1 Smoking-you could smoke anywhere and everywhere.Even in the waiting room at the doctors.A night in the pub,disco(night club) had you needing to surgically clean your clothes to remove the smell of stale cigarette smoke-and I’m a non smoker.Even working in an office it was torture and having to look at a mountain of buts in an ashtray-which was “the cleaners’ job to empty and clean.”

2 The 11-plus-this was a British thing.An exam for 11 year olds on their final year at primary school.It was SUPPOSE to decide which type of secondary school you were suitable for. But if you didn’t get the mark for a Grammar School( a posh one) you were labelled a failure for the rest of your life. I know quite  a few “failures” who have proved this wrong. But the stigma is still there today. I “passed” this exam, and you all know my story.Incidentally the hateful exam is only just being done away with in Norn Ireland as I type.And some people are against this-i always hated this exam.

3 Everything took ages. You had to fill out countless forms for almost everything and they had to be signed, countersigned sent back and fro a few times.

4 Falling down dead moments after you retired. I noticed when the older ones then retired they were dead practically before someone had replaced them.People actually looked a lot older then.

5 Stereo –back then is was a relative new thing and you could hear a singer in one ear and the instruments in the other-no wonder I wore a “Back to mono” badge.

6. Going for a drive-the entire family was bundled into a cramped car to go somewhere we didn’t even like-usually through rain coming at various angles –and we were never allowed an ice cream or sweeties when we did get out .

THE GOOD

1 No Satellite TV-Back then we only had 3-5 channels on TV and the shows were never repeated endlessly like they are now-so that way it actually mattered more when you only had one chance to see it. Documentaries were much better back then too-they actually told you something.And when it’s only on once everybody sees it.

2 Sunday closure.OK you can get a pint of milk now.BUT I am not religious but I do believe everybody needs a time to relax and why not have a day when EVERY BODY is off?There seems to be a buy,buy,buy thing now.The Sunday car trip is now a Sunday car trip to some super sized shopping mall-I feel really sorry for the poor people in those stores.

3 Fan Clubs –for a paltry amount of money you could join your favourite band/singer’s fanclub-and you got loads of goodies too.Today it’s bloody twitter.

4 Letters-a great way of reconstructing the past.Unfortunately all of mine are dumped.But still it’s great to get a hand written letter through the post.Much better than “hop ur well cu soon”Even emails are being replaced by sodden messages on facebook

5 Saturday morning kids TV –cartoons,pop videos,phone ins were you could insult some pop star you did not like and hang up, Zoe Ball-and now? Bloomin’ cookery shows

6 Paying at the door-go to a big concert? Just turn up on the night.Now you have to get the tickets almost 6 months in advance.

7 Record shops-the little record shops were great going to them was almost a social experience.Well in saying that shops in general –all the shops are the same now,bloody chain stores everywhere and they are all identical

8 Boredom-yes folks .There seems to be some 24/7 thing to entertain us at all costs-which is usually worse.It was much better when you had to find your own way of entertainment-and usually resulted in entertaining other people too.

End of moan