It’s not easy being me –think I could sing that to a tune
Kermit the frog sung a few years a go. People have this impression that I am
some kind of carefree hippy type person without a care or worry in the world.
You don’t know how wrong this is-well you kind of know now because I have just
told you.
Think I may have mentioned this before –but I just can’t
handle compliments. If I get praise of any sort I will give several reasons why
I don’t think I deserve it. Someone praises a photo I have taken; I will go out
of my way to find at least 5 reasons why it is bad. When my supervisor at work
gives me a very good report I ask home to downgrade it to a “slightly above
satisfactory” one. I think my reason here is that it’s too much pressure to
keep up to that standard. Think main reason is that at school and in an other
couple of supervisors I had, I was never given a chance and always got bad reports-kind of got use to them.
I have money put aside for a “treat” one idea is a trip to
the USA –three full days in DC
and three full days in New York (or Boston or somewhere) –but
I keep talking myself out of it. I mean one city is much the same as another,
isn’t it? I could use the money to treat someone else to something-or even just
be sensible and save it towards something else-what that is, I haven’t a clue.
Knowing me I would go to the aforesaid cities and come back with something I
could have got in Derry-like a graphic novel,a packet of crisps/potato chips.
Now THAT would actually appeal to my ever so
warped humour-I go all the way to America only to see what their
crisps taste like.
And to be honest I think I would get just as much with a
weekend trip to London or Galway or Cork or…
I think if went into the travel agents and actually booked
the trip this weekend, there’d be no turning back and all that. But then …
Got an idea from something in a Saturday newspaper
supplement and another blog I follow. It lists good things and bad things about
the week. If I knew how I would have little arrows pointing up and down-the
other blog I read does this almost daily-and is usually a good read-so here
goes
UPS
I’m watching very little television and am not missing it
one bit.haven’t seen any of the new series of :-“the walking dead”, “homeland”
only saw 2 episodes of that “agents of shield” (despite being a big fan of joss
wedon –I just can’t be bothered). In saying that I AM actually working through
a boxed dvd set of the complete sopranos. I got this very cheap way back in
june or july and decided I would wait until the dark nights before watching it.
Getting back into the music and reading again-think another
benefit of no television. Currently reading a new graphic novel I came across
called “Chew” very darkly funny.
The autumn colours-unfortunately they don’t last very long
DOWNS
Like I said before-just being me. I know things could be a
heck of a lot worse and I try to count my blessings. I really do need to sit
and down and talk, and do one or two other things. Could do with another barmy
Brenda to talk to.
Facebook-yeah I know.
Someone told me that they (love saying they as I don’t need to differentiate he
or she) read that can lead to
depression. And now I know where they are coming from. If it wasn’t for the
fact that I need facebook to see what is
going on with my rambling club, I don’t think I would use
it. Sometimes logging into to the site actually does get me down.
Internet dating-not working for me-nobody replies to any
messages I send out. maybe I should try another site or two or three?
A little independent comic/music shop I use may not be as
independent as I thought-just found out as well as Derry they have a shop in Sligo too.
I’m losing interest in photography-it’s the whole photoshop
thing-working on a picture to make it presentable-is so blinkin’ time
consuming. I got a new programme a month (or two) ago –called Lightroom-suppose
to be the dog’s doodahs (or whatever) but I just can’t be bothered learning to
use it. I’m thinking of getting a new camera-but that’ll mean having to upgrade
photoshop elements to work with it-doesn’t mean buying anything new-just means
a few minutes on the computer. I actually have a few free cds explaining how to
use Lightroom AND I bought a book on using it-but I just can’t be
bothered.Maybe if I found something new and interesting to get out and photo-or
even find some kind of course to go on…
I'm also too lazy to check this and look at ways to improve the layout -or even plan this too
That’s it-expect more moans soon.
It occurs to me that a trip to the USA would give you LOTS of new and interesting things to photograph.... :)
ReplyDeleteLess TV and more reading is definitely good. Facebook is a nearly-necessary evil so just take it for what it can do for you.
Icky winter weather and shorter days always put me into a funk. Are you feeling crabbit-er than usual right now? Whatever you may think of yourself and the pressure to live up to high standards, etc., you ARE a worthwhile person.